Skattershooting (1/19/04)
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Skattershooting (yeah I know, I missed a month).
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It's been four years since the Y2K scare?
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Can someone explain to me the Nokia commercials
played during the college bowl games that featured Snoop Dogg and the TCU
Horned Frog? And I thought I was pretty hip.
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The Mars rover is fascinating. This picture,
however, made me laugh.
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Katherine Harris, the former attorney general
in Florida that assured Bush of his presidential victory, has decided not
to run for the U.S. Senate. Always the drama queen, she did it this
way: ""After careful deliberation, I am here to announce my candidacy for
the United States Senate [long, long pause] but just not this year."
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Michael Jackson is a freak. I don't know if he
is guilty, but he is one freaky guy.
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Robert Tilton, the former TV Evangelist, is at
it again. This time its on the BET network, and, get this: He is asking
for money by replaying old television shows where he begged for money.
I don't think it would be nice to bet on someone not making it through
the Pearly Gates, but I'd bet a $100 against him.
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Punk'd on MTV is pretty funny.
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I don't know what I think about the The Simple
Life - the television show with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on some
farm in Arkansas. It is funny, however, to see them earnestly start laughing
at one another.
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Speaking of Nicole Richie, is she really that
hot?
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I think I can find anything with Google.
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It's crazy about how everyone with a media pulpit
promotes their own book. Bill O'Reilly, Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura - they all
make reference to the book they have recently written while they are
doing their respective shows. For example, they will all say: "Like
I wrote in my new book, [insert title here] . . . . " And no one pimps
themselves out more than Dr. Laura.
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Speaking of books, I'm currently reading Al Franken's
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. It's been a long time since
I've laughed out loud while reading a book. This one does it.
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90% of Wise Countians would hate Al Franken's
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.
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If I ever write a book, I will promote it here.
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Franken recently did a few USO shows for the troops
in Iraq. His opening line to thousands of soldiers was "So, is anyone here
from out of town?"
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Here's my bold predictions for his year: Michael
Jackson, Scott Peterson, and Kobe Bryant will all be found not guilty.
Not that they didn't do it. It's just that there is too much reasonable
doubt.
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If I got to chose a client among those three,
I'd take Peterson.
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Do you know anyone that hasn't been on the Atkins
diet?
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Bank of America has signed a 20 year deal to get
its name on the Carolina Panther's stadium. The cost: $100 million.
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HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm has started
up again - this time with Ben Stiller in a featured role. Funny, funny
stuff.
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Anybody caught HBO's "documentary" on the Nevada
prostitution house, Cathouse 2: Back in the Saddle? (Come on, admit
it). To be the "premiere" establishment in the state, some of those girls
aren't
that hot.
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Ok, here's another shocker. On the week of the
Stock Show in Fort Worth, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
runs this full page ad
in the Fort Worth Weekly.
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Outkast's #1 single "Hey Ya" has this line "Shake
it like a polaroid picture!" Do you think anyone under 25 years of age
knows what that line means?
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The American death toll in Iraq has now exceeded
500 - the most U.S. casualties in any conflict since Vietnam. Then again,
the number killed in Vietnam was 58,219.
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The Hubble telescope is done. The U.S. will now
let it slowly deteriorate.
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The face value of Super Bowl tickets is $500.
Is there any event worth $500?
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I'm glad I left politics before the creation of
the Wise County message board. That place can get brutal.
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Did you see that 14 year old Michelle Wie played
in a men's PGA event in Hawaii and missed the cut by one stroke? That's
right: a fourteen year old girl being competitive with the best men golfers
in the world. (By the way, she already stands six feet tall).
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When the Terror Alert Status gets raised to a
different level, what exactly am I supposed to do?
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President Bush announced plans to eventually place
a man on Mars after, once again, sending a man to the moon. The current
budget deficit, by the way, is 1/2 of a trillion dollars.
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Don't you think a shopping mall could be successfully
built in northwest Tarrant County? Somewhere around Keller or Alliance
airport perhaps?
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I have never really watched American Idol,
but I kind of like that "If I Were Invincible" song that somebody from
that show sings.
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Random rant: During the NFC Championship Game,
Donovan McNabb gets hit a little late and hurts his ribs. During the replay,
commentators Troy Aikman and Chris Collinsworth yell "How can the official
not throw a flag?" But the first time that Aikman and Collinsworth
became aware of the possible late hit was when they saw the replay.
I was thinking, "hey, you boys didn't even catch it the first time."
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The train derailment in mid January between Rhome
and Decatur was incredible. Most of the derailed cars were mangled as they
came to rest right off of highway 287.
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You can find anything in a Super Target.
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The fake drug controversy continues to be a big
deal in Dallas. I always thought it odd that no one has mentioned that
it is a crime to deliver a substance "and represent the substance to be
a controlled substance" even if it is not real dope. See Health and Safety
Code sec. 482.002.
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In general, I never read the Comics Page but did
you see that the Dallas Morning News refused to run a strip of B.C.
Why? Here's the dialogue that got the strip's author in trouble:
"Sez here [in a book], 'Fred and Stanley Wong claimed they flew the first
airplane. However, it has been established that their craft never actually
became airborne." "Proving what," a second character says. "Two Wongs don't
make a Wright."
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Every single Democratic presidential candidate
does absolutely nothing for me.
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Isn't it odd that the Democrats held their Iowa
Caucus on Martin Luther King Day, an national holiday?
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True Romance with Christian Slater is a
great movie that's now almost 10 years old.
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I'd like to see Cold Mountain and Mystic
River.
Barry
Green served as District Attorney for Wise and Jack Counties from 1993
through 2000. He is now a partner in the Decatur law firm of Smith
& Green, P.C. and is Board Certified in Criminal Law.
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