Skattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Woody Harrelson:

• Scissors are great inventions.
• A poll in early February revealed that one in three high school students don't think it is a bad idea to have the government approve some news stories before they can be published. Kids, back away from the joystick.
• You want to see a cat lick your computer screen? Sure you do.
  
• I'm going out to get "a bite to eat" is a very odd phrase.
  
• Did you know that in January the Marines failed to meet their voluntary recruiting goals for the first time ever. Here might be a reason: Marines make up 20 percent of the fighting force in Iraq but 30 percent of dead.
• Speaking of Iraq and Dead: 110 people were killed today. (2/28/05)
• Why is there more winter if the groundhog sees his shadow? If he sees his shadow, doesn't that mean it was sunny? So the sun shining means more winter?
• Every year in February the State of the Union speech is given by the President. Can you name one memorable line from any of those speeches? How is that possible?  My State of the Union speech would be about 10 minutes long and I would begin with "Please hold your applause until I am finished. The American people are tired after a long day's work and they must prepare for tomorrow - so let's not waste their valuable time."
• And is there any more of a waste of time than the Democratic response?
• I don't understand car dealership ads that show this salesman yelling at the camera telling me to get down to their car lot "now!" They never seem to change.
  
• Terry Bradshaw drives me insane. His absence is the only good thing about the end of football season.
• Channel 4's Heather Hays' boyfriend committed suicide 8 years ago. And she is very public about it.
  
• During the Super Bowl, a commercial ran of a very, very shapely young women appearing before Congress to promote godaddy.com. Did you know that the NFL stepped in and told Fox that it would not run the ad a second time as scheduled? Blame Janet Jackson.
• Fort Worth lawyer Bobby Patton buys the Osteopathic Hospital for $6 million at auction and then sells it one week later to the University of North Texas for "under $17 million". Wow.
  
• Kay Bailey Hutchison has more campaign cash in the bank than ANY other member of Congress: $6.7 million. Some wonder if she will take a run at Gov. Rick Perry. You want to know what's in Perry's bank account?: $7.9 million. (And Bobby Patton probably has more money in the bank than either one of them).
  
• Front page headline in the Dallas Morning News: "Diocese faces DA Inquiry - Handling of Abuse Claims Targeted; Church Pledges Cooperation" which gave rise to an inside editorial labeled "Good for DA for investigating church". Sheesh. Who tells a potential criminal defendant that they are about to be investigated? Someone who wants to look good in the press, that's who. 5th Amendment, be prepared to be invoked.
• The Bush Administration has raised the bounty on bin Laden from $25 million to $50 million. Huh? $25 million is not enough but $50 million is?
• When any governmental error has occurred, why do we all breathe a big sigh of relief simply because of a promise of "we will take the appropriate action after a complete and thorough investigation".
• "IRVING -- A Grapevine woman accused of the drunken-driving death of a New York teen-ager Sunday was arrested just days ago in Euless on suspicion of drunken driving, police said Monday. Kayla Rae Proffitt, 20, remained in the Irving Jail on Monday." You want to see her picture? Here it is (a "party pic"), and my bet is that it won't stay there long.
  
• Call me naive but why does the U.S. get to tell North Korea to get rid of their nuclear weapons? Bush tells the American people that Iraq, Iran and North Korea are part of an "Axis of Evil" and then he invades Iraq. If I'm in charge of North Korea, I get all the nukes I can find and tell the United States to stay away.
• I know you don't care about a small college called Redlands, but they have one crazy basketball team. Their theory: shoot the ball immediately and, on defense, play a five man full court press - if the other team breaks through and scores, so be it. You have to laugh at the crazy scores of their games. 
• The Bee Gees may have been the worst group of all time.
• Is it OK for a black man to root for quarterback Donovan McNabb in Super Bowl just because McNabb is black?
• Hillary Clinton cannot be elected president. It would be the dumbest thing the Democrats could do - and they do a lot of dumb things. 
• Fox 4's Becky Oliver is one harsh lady.
• It's been 10 years since Braveheart, Toy Story and Apollo 13 were released.
• It's been 20 years since Back To The Future, Cocoon and The Breakfast Club.
• It's been 30 years since Jaws and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
• I feel old all of a sudden
• Carly Fiorina made headlines when she (a female, obviously) became the CEO of Hewlett-Packard in 1999. When she was hired, she received stock in the company worth $65 million. When she was fired last month, she was given a severance package of $21.1 million. My head hurts.
• I cringe whenever I hear that someone is being sought as "a person of interest" by authorities. I have no idea where that term comes from - it's not a legal one.
• I like Gummy Bears
• I have always detested lawyer/commentator Nancy Grace. (She's never seen a person accused of a crime that wasn't guilty). And now she has her own hour long TV show on CNN's Headline News every night at 7:00 p.m.
  
• I don't understand this phenomenon of hot, young female teachers having sex with even younger, male high school students. The newest one is Pamela Joan Turner. And one of the first scandal ridden teachers, Mary Kay Letourneau, is set to marry her "victim" in April.
• The Ladykillers (DVD) with Tom Hanks was very funny. I could listen to his character talk for hours.
• The Door in the Floor (DVD) was really, really good.
• Hotel Rwanda (theaters) really didn't meet my expectations. It was rated PG-13 which really doesn't do the horrible bloodshed justice.
• There is no greater way to start an argument than to discuss Napoleon Dynamite. Either people love it with a passion or hate it with a passion. I thought it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen and have easily placed it within my top five comedies. "Gosh!". (For those that love the movie, you'll get a kick out of this soundboard).
  
• Garden State (DVD) was very good. I think I'm in love with Natalie Portman.
• I finally got around to seeing The Terminal (DVD) with Tom Hanks. I liked it but I'm not sure why.
• Despite the wealth of Oscars that Million Dollar Baby received I continue to assert that it is a boring, boring movie.
  
• Garth Brooks came out of retirement on February 13th at a fundraiser at Bass Performance Hall "to help raise $4.5 million to purchase an intraoperative MRI machine for Cook Children's Medical Center in Fort Worth." Question: If the money is raised and the machine is purchased, will Cook's charge patients for the use of the machine?
• You want to make your own tombstone? Sure you do.
• Splenda, a sugar substitute that was introduced four years ago, now has sales more that Equal and Sweet-N-Low combined.
• I finished #919 in the Cowtown 10K on Saturday. The good news is that I was in the top half of finishers. The bad news is that I finished one place behind somebody named "Roberta" and 18 places behind a 13 year old girl.
  
• My head will blow up if I hear Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot" or Destiny's Child's "Soldier" one more time.
• That same head might also blow up if I hear the phrase "Wise County sure is growing" one more time.
• Who in the heck is "Cedric the Entertainer" and why am I seeing him in all of these movie previews?
• Big  & Rich performed at the NBA All-Star game. Who in the heck thought that combination would be a good idea?
• I've never been a big proponent of courthouse security (and I'm in the minority) but the shooting outside of the Tyler courthouse kinda proves that if someone wants to kill you in this country, they can probably do it.
• And another thing about the Tyler shooting: one of the dead ended up being a concealed handgun carrier who decided he would shoot the would-be killer.
• Barbiturates. When is the last time you heard of someone taking barbiturates?
• "And we'll be back with the 5 day forecast a little bit later" drives me crazy. It takes 10 seconds! Tell me now!
• The Supreme Court will hear arguments on Wednesday concerning whether a monument of the Ten Commandments should be removed. Most of the supporters of the monument refuse to admit that they do so because it endorses their religious preference.
• The prosecutor's opening statement in the Michael Jackson case took 3 hours and 15 minutes. I can't tell you how insane that is. In Texas, it would have been 15 minutes at the maximum - and probably even shorter than that.